There Is Nothing I Am Holding

There is nothing I am holding that I will not drop for you

Dropping, dropping endlessly into our shared

Endlessness

Crying sacred tears of gratitude

Laughter that extends beyond life

And makes this vast, vast Universe

Feel like nothing more than a drop

In the Ocean of You

~

There is nothing I am holding that I will not drop for you

To embrace you totally

Without reservation

As I myself

Would like to be embraced

~

There is nothing I am holding that I will not drop for you

Even you

I will drop you

My idea of you

My prayers to you

My longing for you

If it will bring me closer to you

I will drop even this

Through the fear of losing you

Losing you forever

Which, it has been said, is Hell

I will gladly go to Hell for you

If Hell is closer to you than Heaven

I will gladly live in Hell

And make friends with all the sinners

And suffer demons gladly

~

There is nothing I am holding that I will not drop for you

Sweeter words I do not know

What can I give to the one who gives all?

What can I ask from the one

Whose very body is the Universe?

I can only fall

Through madness and terror

Falling, falling

Blessed are those who fall

For they shall be lifted up

~

There is nothing I am holding that I will not drop for you

In your light, all that appeared substantial

Becomes dust

Blows away in the slightest wind

And I am left naked in your light

Your light that reveals all

And I can run in shame

Conjuring a false God

To cover my shame

Or turn to your light

Because I love you so deeply

That not fear or shame can make me run

And I will draw near your flame

Even if it chooses to destroy me

Better to know you in Death

Than live without you

~

There is nothing I am holding that I will not drop for you

There is nothing so important

That I cannot relinquish it for a moment

To give you a warm hug

And then we can turn, together

To see what was worth keeping

And what has already faded away

In the sweetness of your company

Life becomes joy

And there is nothing left to do

But share these gifts

With all beings

May all beings be happy

I love you

🙂

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Devotion!!

Hello, dear ones!

Yesterday, just in time for Amma’s birthday, I released a CD online. I’ve decided to call it Devotion, and release it under the moniker Tomas Muriel

https://tomasmuriel.bandcamp.com

Most of my life I’ve gone by the name Tom, but before I was born my Dad wanted to name me Tomas. My Mom wanted Tom, and she won 😉 Using the name Tomas is about honoring my Dad and the qualities he has brought into my life, stability, confidence, competence, hard work and perseverance.

Muriel is a name that came to me while I was contemplating my guardian angel. It came in and felt right. Uriel is a more well-known angel, the angel of fire and light. Muriel, for me, is Ma + Uriel, the M brings in the presence of the Holy Mother and softens Uriel’s fire into a graceful, guiding light. Like Kuan Yin, Muriel for me is androgynous, a marriage of masculine and feminine qualities. Muriel can be male or female, depending on your perspective, or what you need in the moment. What a scary thing, to be so undefined!

According to this webpage, Muriel allows us to get in touch with our deepest emotions, which is what writing this music has been all about for me. According to this page, Muriel is the angel of healing pets, finding love and peace, and making your garden grow! I love this tenderness and innocence. I love pets, flowers and children. This is where I really see the divine, in the effortless blossoming of a flower, in the ecstatic playfulness and boundless energy of a child, in the simple being of a pet’s presence. And making this music has been about growing my garden, about tending to the blossoms of my soul and seeing what emerges from my own process of diving into the emotional depths.

My prayer is that I can share all of this through the music I have created, in the service of bringing us all closer to the divine. I have found that devotion is not always a comfortable process, as it takes us through the dark night of the soul and destabilizes our ideas about who we are, why we are here, and what the future holds. In true devotion, everything is shaken to the very core, and all we can do is cry out to some power that seems so very far from our hearts…

This album is existential, it is not about ideas about this spiritual tradition or the other, or right and wrong ways to live. It is about recognizing the common human themes that bridge all the various traditions and cultural expressions of the world. It is about seeing every song as a song of longing and satisfaction, praise and plea, separation and reunion, fall and redemption. It is about surrendering to our own emotional nature, and finding a peace or freedom in that very surrender. That is the invitation I extend through this music, and I hope you take it.

I hope you listen, enjoy, allow yourself to be moved, and share this with anyone you feel would be open to receiving it. And even if you don’t, I hope this joy brings you some inspiration of your own. Many blessings, may you all be happy.

With love,

Tom

Freedom

How easy it is to be free

To simply be

To sit with the light and dark

Knowing them both well

Our two oldest friends

As thoughts dance

Stories

Poetry

Music

Shifting winds

Melodies emerging from harmony

And melting back

In the ocean

~

How easy it is to be free

And let go of drama

No one to attack, judge, or blame

Because this is misery

And who needs misery

When there is freedom?

The freedom to simply love

And sit with love

And get to know love

And ask about love…

Where does it come from?

Can it run out?

And in the pain, and grief, and fear

Ask the question:

Is there still love?

Is it still here?

Yes

Yes, even here

Love remains

~

How easy it is to be free

When there is nothing to accomplish

Nothing that needs to be said or done

Nothing to fix in the world,

Or in others

Let God do all the work

He is much better at it anyway

All I ever did was get in the way

How easy it is to be free

When all it takes is surrender

Ode to Love

Have we loved so deeply?

~

How deeply have we loved love?

Deeply enough to welcome pain?

To welcome the pain of loving

As the way love opens us up

To the raw intimacy of life

To surrendering our defenses

And seeing the highest and lowest

Always interlocked

At the heart of all things?

~

Love is God,

Love is the eternal guide

Love is folly and wisdom

Agony and bliss

Love is the Hell that prepares us

for Heaven.

~

Have we loved so deeply?

Have we persevered in our love?

Have we loved with all we have,

And given it all up for love?

Love will take everything we have,

And when we love fully,

We will see what a burden it really is.

What a burden to have a life,

A personality,

A belief,

A purpose.

What freedom to love

and be loved.

~

Love has no name

No season

No home

Because love is at home everywhere

Love is home

And all things gather around the fire of love

~

All things become as one

And share stories of friendship

Around the fire of love

In the heart of one

Who has been totally burned away

By the fire of love.

~

Have we loved so deeply?