Tag Archives: love

Love is Awakening

dining hall

For the most part, there is not very much happening. The clouds drift across the sky, the river meanders to the Ocean. And the song of the Ocean is an endless lullaby, the divine breath that carries the infinitesimal movements of countless beings. This vast, teeming emptiness is that silent, all-pervasive consciousness that we ourselves are. Limits only exist within the limitless. There is only this invitation to surrender to this, your own Presence, timeless, carefree, witness to all that is…

[vimeo 113771587]

~~ Om shanti shanti shanti om ~~


Sacred Geometry ~ Treading

Here are all the mandalas that went into the video I posted recently. I welcome you to download them and use them as an aid for meditation. The merkaba is a particularly powerful and simple mandala. The essence of the mandala is the point with the circle around it–the ineffable self. The two intersecting tetrahedron show the play of opposites, yin and yang, the dual aspects of the psyche or any situation. By seeing them in perfect harmony, we invite that harmony into our own psyche, or the situation we may be contemplating. Enjoy!

mandala_n mandala_m mandala_l mandala_k mandala_j mandala_i mandala_h mandala_g mandala_f mandala_e mandala_d mandala_c mandala_b mandala_a

‚̧ ‚̧ ‚̧

Sacred Geometry ~ Simplicity

Here are some more sacred geometry mandalas I’ve been working on recently! Feel free to download and use as aids for contemplation & meditation. I’ve found that when I focus on the center of the mandala the whole thing starts to ebb and do strange things to my visual field, and I get a sense of peace, like the mandala is transmitting its harmony to a deeper part of my being ūüôā

Christalyze Simplicity Simplicity 3 Revelation Kristen's Mandala thinkinsidethebox Marko's Mandala Codex Illumine impliedinfinity Simplicity 2

My Story

Hi, my name is Tom and I’ve lived all over the world. That always seems to be the most interesting thing about me when I introduce myself to people. Everyone wants to know where you’re from. Well, in my mind, I am from many places, and I am not from anywhere. I am a wandering spirit, as are we all.

I was born in Israel, just like Jesus. Not to draw any implicit connection, but you know, just sayin’. It’s not a bad place to be born. This was just before things got really heated over there, but anyway I don’t remember too much about Israel. We moved by the time I was 2 years old. My parents are not Jewish nor military folk. My dad was an adventurous software engineer, and these days he’s an adventurous manager. He wanted to travel, and travel we did.

My parents are both from Belgium. This is how I usually phrase it. I don’t say that I’m from Belgium. Not that I have anything against Belgium. My bloodline is from Belgium. But only for a while. If you trace it back, century after century, it goes on branching and wheeling across the world and eventually, I guess, into the Ocean, and back to the stars. But my spirit is from many places. For my spirit, discovering different cultures is like remembering the many masks I have worn throughout time and space. Does that sound cosmic enough?

I’m a pretty cosmic kind of guy. To me, what is happening nowadays, this whole globalization business, is pretty cosmic. I like to look for the highest potential in everything. There’s a lot that is not perfect about globalization. But to me the hidden gift of globalization is the ability for every individual to remember their universal nature. To realize that every culture, every language, is just a different way of expressing essential human themes. And at the heart of these is the pair of longing and embodiment‚Ķ longing for home, and embodying love. Because love is our home.

One of the shadows of globalization is that it seems to be creating a world where money rules everything, and we’re all becoming the faceless agents of a system beyond anyone’s control. A system driven only by profit, that is draining the world’s resources and exploits those unfortunate enough to find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s like a great virus that covers the richness of humanity in sheathes of materiality. But maybe this virus is a necessary devil, acting as a carrier for a global communication network that can birth a new consciousness: that of all humanity as one global family. That’s my dream. That perhaps we can all awaken to the fact that we are all united and our only real purpose is to serve one another. That everything else is just a distraction.

For the last 14 years I’ve lived in the United States. Before that I lived in Taiwan and Belgium. In the States, I’ve lived in Virginia, North Carolina, Chicago, and California. I loved going to school in Washington DC. I didn’t like school in Virginia. I didn’t like North Carolina either, I was very rebellious and North Carolina felt far too conservative for me. I wanted to leave as soon as possible. Chicago was my relief from North Carolina, my great hub of culture and sophistication, but in Chicago I felt cut off and isolated. The city felt cold and hostile, although it had its moments of beauty.

But looking back, I spent a lot of my life feeling isolated and cut off. I was an introverted kid, I spent a lot of my time in books and in thought. I had a mean narcissistic streak, and felt like others couldn’t relate to me. But I don’t think I tried too hard to communicate my feelings to others. They were too obscured in complex ideas about the world and why, ultimately, it was a meaningless and hopeless place. Deep down, I was probably kind of depressed.

I ended up studying Philosophy in Chicago. I’ve always been fascinated by the big ideas of mankind. The big bang. Quantum theory. Theism vs. atheism. The meaning of life (42, incidentally). Death. And one avenue into many of these contemplations was psychedelic drugs. I loved taking drugs. They put me into an entirely different world that most people didn’t understand. Like the gateway into Narnia! I felt that in one night on mushrooms I had more thoughts than the average person had in a year. I thought about things most people would never care to think about. And it felt so‚Ķ strange! They were like nothing else I had ever experienced.

But my experiences weren’t always pleasant. Sometimes I touched a deep hopelessness, a feeling that life was a meaningless charade where we all pretend everything is fine but deep down we all know it is doomed. At other times I would become aware of a presence that seemed so powerful it would overcome me completely, and for it to enter Tom would have to die. That was the most terrifying.

As I continued to experiment with psychedelics, these experiences became more and more frequent. Something wanted to take over, and I struggled to hold onto the reigns, even as the absurdities of my life were highlighted for me. I felt like an actor who refused to read the lines the director handed me, and instead stumbled around on stage foolishly and self-consciously.

This was also accompanied by a feeling that my friends and other people around me weren’t real, they were also just actors playing out their roles. This made me feel crazy, and then I became afraid that I would be seen as crazy and terrible things would happen to me. I was on a bad trip, folks. And it would have kept getting worse if I hadn’t, somehow, found it in myself to¬†surrender.

If there is a message to my story, it is all captured in this word–surrender. I feel that it is perhaps the most profound thing we, as human beings, can do. To give up our need to control life. To trust. To let go of our ideas, our beliefs, our reason, our faith and our doubt. All of these can be ways that our minds go on attempting to control life. To give up our tendency to complain or blame others for our problems. To give up our tendency to judge others and ourselves. Essentially, to give up all the noise in our heads that keeps us from just being in the present moment, and becoming the silent witness of what is happening.

Surrender. I feel that I surrendered to two things simultaneously. I surrendered to a higher power and I surrendered to my physical experience. Before that happened, I never could have understood how deeply connected those two are. Our bodies are always having some physical experience, but we spend most of our time distracting ourselves from how our bodies are feeling. We move around, we go around doing things, we talk to each other, we drink and eat and sleep.¬†But we usually spend very little time just sitting, closing our eyes, and feeling what’s going on with our bodies. It gets uncomfortable very quickly. I think most people realize this when they take psychedelics–it’s pretty uncomfortable to be in a body. Even when your body is perfectly healthy, it’s still liable to have all kinds of aches and pains just from sitting still. And when you’re high, it feels even stranger. You sweat for no reason, it just feels damn weird. You feel like a spirit that’s been thrown in a strange cage of bones and flesh and fluids. The body is weird!

But what does that discomfort have to do with a higher power? Well, as I said, most of our minds’ activity seems to be about distracting us from the present moment. Our minds are very future and past oriented. So much of our time is spent complaining about the past or anticipating the future. We work jobs we don’t like looking forward to when we get out of work. We go on vacation to places where we can go on distracting ourselves, with food and drink and this and that. And if anything happens to snap us out of our distraction, we get frustrated! And along the way, we develop a strong sense of who we are. We identify with our beliefs, with our behavior, with where we’re from, with what we’ve done, with what we like, and so on. But what happens when we start to just sit with the discomfort of the present moment? All that stuff starts getting burned away.

The ego starts getting burned away. When we surrender to the present moment, to just sitting with ourselves and reality as it is, all of our thoughts about the past and future and ourselves start to get burned away. They don’t serve any function anymore. There’s just this moment and the sensations going through the body, which are all impermanent. And there is the consciousness that is witnessing the body, witnessing the present moment. The consciousness that has always been there. The consciousness that was there when Tom was born, when Tom became 12, when Tom became 21, the consciousness that is here right now. But this consciousness has not always been Tom. Tom is an idea that appeared in this consciousness at some point. There is no point in tracing where this idea came from. But there is great value in seeing that it is an illusion. It is a useful illusion. A beautiful illusion, even, at times. But it is still an illusion. And the truth is far greater. The truth is that I am consciousness. I am not my beliefs, not my thoughts, not my deeds, not my past. I am not where I’ve lived, who I’ve known, or what I’ve done. I am consciousness, just as the deer outside my house is consciousness, my girlfriend is consciousness, my parents are consciousness, and you are consciousness. We are all consciousness, and consciousness is all there is. And this is beautiful. This is unifying, harmonizing, and it is peaceful.

And in the space of seeing this, something else becomes apparent. What becomes apparent is that there is a force moving through all things. I see, with more and more clarity, that I am not the source of my actions or my deeds, any more than I am the source of the sensations in my body or the things I witness externally. In fact, everything is just happening, and if I can do anything at all, I can surrender to what is happening. I can surrender to the flow of life through me. I can surrender to the sensations I feel. I can surrender to the situations life brings me. And in this surrender, there is a sense of communion. A sense that I am coming into harmony with the source of all of this.

And it’s also a sense that Tom is dying. Not that my body is dying, but that identification with the body is dying. That identification with thoughts is dying, so thought patterns that used to be very strong start to unravel. Thoughts like “this is good” and “that is bad.” When there is just consciousness observing and embracing what it sees, these thought patterns start to unravel. And so the sense of Tom unravels as well. The whole flavor of life changes. And it’s wonderful! It’s liberating, and peaceful, and full of love and beauty.

So when I tell my story of living, I start to tell a story of dying. As one of my spiritual teachers said, “The art of living is also the art of dying.” Because we all die eventually. And they say that the wise are those who, rather than despair, use this realization as the fuel for their desire to find what is deathless. Because saints and sages of all traditions have told us there is a deathless. And it is not a matter of faith, it is a matter of inquiry into your own being and realizing the truth for yourself. As we realize this, on a collective level, all the divisions of religion and creed will drop away.

When I tell my story, I always find myself drawn to what I consider to be the essential. My girlfriend has a different style, she loves to chronicle events and people and use the stories to share her wisdom. I just go straight to being. I don’t think that one is right and the other is wrong. I don’t think it’s wrong to be interested in the every-day realities of material life, to highlight the dramas we all play out. I just know that my spirit just wants to rest in this truth–we are all consciousness. And we don’t need anything else! We can just be consciousness and sip the divine tea of freedom.

This is also why I love tea ceremony. It takes being and turns it into an art. When we sip tea, we sip being. We meet as one and leave as one, and the ceremony reminds us of our unity.


I love my parents, I love Belgium, I love God, I love Jesus and the Buddha and Lao Tzu and Mooji and Goenkaji, I love my brother and my girlfriend. I love the US and Santa Cruz. The more I lose myself, the more I love, because I don’t need anything to be any particular way. I just accept and embrace everything as it is. And if an impulse arises inside me to make an adjustment, to fix something, to change something, to protest something, then I embrace that as well. Because I see how everything is a part of the whole, and the whole goes on changing. And sometimes the changes come through us. It’s a beautiful paradox that cannot be understood, only lived.

Life is a beautiful paradox that cannot be understood, only lived.

When all’s said and done, this isn’t my story, it’s our story. That gives me hope. I look forward to a day when we encourage our kids to meditate, when we hold compassion in greater esteem than knowledge. I pray that my life can be a pure light of illumination for others, and that together we heal the wounds of the world through the depth of our surrender.

OK, I think that’s enough for today. I hope this finds you all well, inspired, peaceful and loving. May all beings be released from suffering. May we all be supported in walking this holy path. May we have fun too!


What if I Lost You Tomorrow?

What if I lost you tomorrow?

What if you lost me tomorrow?

We are sand slipping through

One another’s fingers

We can be

Moments of joy

In oceans of turmoil

Or we can be

Awakening to the sunrise

Seeing ourselves

In the breeze

Immortal children

Meeting each other


We can be the light

That makes the whole world shine

Without leaving a trace

We are two lovers

Sitting in the auditorium

Seeing our love reflected on the stage

In ways too beautiful and funny

They take our breath away

On the stage is you

And on the stage is me

But if all the actors leave

The curtains come down

And the lights go out

I’ll still feel you breathing

Right there next to me

I won’t know where I end

And you begin

With eyes closed

I am your whole

And you are my whole

We are


What if I lost you tomorrow?

Would you come find me?

Would I feel your smile

On the light of the sun?

Would I see you play

In the eyes of every child?

Would I hear your kind wisdom

Through a million voices

Ringing with insight?

Would I hear your voice

In another’s laughter

In some far-away music that strolls

Down a cobble-stone street

In a park somewhere?

If I lost you tomorrow

Would I meet you again


What if you lost me tomorrow?

Would you cry until you started to laugh

And would you laugh so deeply

That your whole life became a laughter?

Would you keep dancing?

And, dancing, meet me

As the wind picks up

And a leaf brushes against your leg

And the sound of friends laughing

Shatters your lonely silence?

Would you walk in my footsteps?

Would you meet me in the meadows of Mt Shasta?

Would you meet me in meditation

or contemplation

in my favorite book

or movie

or song?

Would you trace my ending

To my beginning

And find

That I was a circle all along?

And that you,

You too are a circle?

And seeing this, would you find

That I am still sitting right there beside you

In the empty theatre

That is your heart

Where we can never lose one another

Because we were never two

To begin with?

I love you, my dear

Now and forever


Gene Keys: an Introduction


Gene Keys Website

What are the Gene Keys?

The Gene Keys are a contemporary spiritual transmission. They are a living wisdom that have the extraordinary capacity to transform your life.

The Gene Keys combine the wisdom of I Ching with our modern understanding of DNA to create a contemplative guide. This exquisite work brings together many divergent spiritual traditions and opens up new dimensions of scientific understanding. However, the Gene Keys are not really intended to deliver a comprehensive, logical understanding of how the world works. In many ways, the Gene Keys are an initiation into the vast mystery of existence.

The Gene Keys are a map of human consciousness. They describe three manifestations of consciousness: the shadow, the gift, and the siddhi. The shadow is made up of disallowed subconscious fears and desires that are either repressed and projected externally. The Gene Keys are an invitation to face our shadows and allow them to reveal their gifts, which is the journey of personal transformation. Through this process, we learn to open our hearts and share our creative genius with the world. This allows us to learn the true meaning of genius, love and prosperity.

The siddhic consciousness is that elusive enlightened state which so many strive for, but which the Gene Keys point to as the true, underlying nature of all states, unchanging and untainted.

The Art of Contemplation

The Gene Keys are also a doorway into the wonderful art of contemplation. Contemplation combines the focused effort and discipline of yoga with the effortless awareness of tantra. In contemplation, we train our minds on a concept or koan, and allow insights to unfold naturally, in their own time.

These insights are not just intellectual, but can be emotional and even deeply physical. These are contemplations that bring us back to the body, to our breath and our bones, and mutate the very quality of our awareness.

The Gene Keys are a slow, patient path of self-illumination. Gene Keys is a book! It is a tome of wisdom that encompasses and unites many disparate spiritual traditions into a golden braid of perennial wisdom. It is for all those who long to hold the keys of understanding, but find that every path they explore seems to leave something out, or feels like a limitation.


The Gene Keys recognize that the human spirit is boundless, and structures and paths are meant to empower us, not limit us with outdated dogma. Love goes on evolving, it goes on breaking its own rules and overstepping its own limitations. This is the playful and joyous journey that the Gene Keys invite us on! We are imbibing a wisdom that is coded into the very structure of reality, and we are making it our own by bringing our own unique spirit to it.

My Personal Journey

My own journey with the Gene Keys has spanned four years and has evolved in stages. At first I only had the book, and I got sucked into its insights, vision of the future and impeccable structure. It was incredible! I couldn’t believe its depth, scope, and also simplicity! Honestly, I was pretty mesmerized. I had always had this longing for a spiritual classic that wasn’t from Ancient China or biblical times, but written in a contemporary style and in plain English. Gene Keys delivered. This book became, very quickly, my “Bible.”

There are 64 separate “keys,” and I must have read each one several times. And slowly, the work faded into the background. Different things came into my life–farming, meditation, but the Gene Keys was always there as a supportive friend smiling on the sidelines.

About a year or two later, I finally found my own personal “hologenetic” profile (read more here). The Gene Keys came alive once again, as it took on a greater personal relevance. Now I knew¬†my¬†life’s work,¬†my¬†purpose,¬†my¬†spiritual intelligence and so on ūüėČ

I was once again sucked into this magical journey of love, light, and laughter.

Another year went by, and the Gene Keys Golden Path was released. Richard Rudd, the creator of the Gene Keys, started a website elucidating the Gene Keys and offering an online program to lead people through their profile to understand the Gene Keys at a deeper level. This program has three components, addressing one’s creative genius, opening the heart, and unlocking prosperity.

There are lots of programs out there that claim to help one do these things, and lots of people are drawn to them based on what they resonate with. Gene Keys always appealed to me based on its succinct clarity. The truths found in the Gene Keys are immediate and apparent, and simple to practice. Many new things seem to have been triggered as I’ve explored this program. I fell in love, and now I am making the first steps to really put myself out there and understand my own personal meaning of prosperity and community.

My whole journey with the Gene Keys has been one of love. Something about it just spoke very deeply to me, and now I find myself devoted to sharing it with others. It brings me such a great joy, and there is a process of “embodiment” that happens as we share this wisdom. We become the wisdom. When we speak the truth, we become the truth. When we see the light in others, we become the light, we see it everywhere. It’s an incredible journey, one that I am immensely grateful for.

In Conclusion…

I hope you appreciate this sharing. The links in this article, in addition to providing further resources should you wish to explore the Gene Keys, are also affiliate links for me so that I can help support myself as I do the work I feel called to do. If you are inclined to purchase anything through the website, I would be immensely grateful if you used one of these links.

I am happy to help you explore this system further, if you are so inclined. If you have any questions or things you’d like to understand in greater depth, I am here for you. If you would like a taste of your profile to see if the Golden Path is something for you, I’d be happy to have a Skype interview with you. Just leave a comment and I’ll be in touch!

Thank you so much for reading, and if you enjoyed this article, please share it with others! Many blessings on your path ūüôā